Caught Up In The Moment
by Random Storygirl
Summary: Clare is having mixed feelings about Eli, so she calls Adam to help her sort them out. But after a huge mistake and a car crash, will these friendships be torn apart? Or worse?
1. A Conversation Over Popcorn

**Author's Note: **This is just another strange idea I had. Eclare and Fadam lovers may hate this, but I'm writing it anyway.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Degrassi. If I did, Ziley and Mylan (or Darco because I don't know the couple names) would be changed into Rylan (or Diley) and Zarco (or Mane, but the other sounds better). I think those couples would be more adorable.

**CAUGHT UP IN THE MOMENT**

I needed someone to talk to. I needed to sort out my feelings about Eli. We started out great. The road started to get bumpy with my parents' divorce and his hoarding, but we pulled through. The divorce was an outside problem, and the hoarding just involved a lot of cleaning. But this new problem started after Fitz came back, with Eli's Stalker Angel story. Although this problem started because of Fitz, he wasn't bothering us anymore, but Eli was still acting the same way. He's been increasingly protective and I've been spending so much time with him. Alli has been complaining that I don't have enough time for her. And all of this time alone with Eli has been making me feel…uncomfortable. Sometimes he gets this look in his eye that puts me on edge, and when he has that look, he is always talking about how we should do more things together, which has become more often over the past few weeks. I needed to figure out why he's been acting this way, so I decided to call a person who knew him just as well as I did, or maybe more.

"Hello?"

"Adam? Are you there?"

"Yeah. It's me? What's up, Clare? Didn't you and Eli plan to eat dinner at the Dot today?"

"Yeah. But I cancelled."

"Why?"

"It's hard to explain. But could you…come over? Please? I need to talk to you about something important."

"Sure. I'll be there in a few minutes…unless the bus driver stops for a ham sandwich again like he did last time…" I laughed, remembering how it took him forty minutes to get to my house last time because the driver did that and the workers at the restaurant took so long to make his order.

"Cool. Bye."

"Bye." He hung up, and I stood there for a minute with my phone still open in my hand, thinking, until the phone beeped and a recording began to play telling me that I should type in a number if I wanted to call someone. I closed the phone and noticed that the house was a bit messy, so I started cleaning up. Then I made a bag of microwave popcorn and put into a large glass bowl because Adam was always hungry when he went to my house…and pretty much everywhere else. As soon I was finished doing that, Adam rang the doorbell. So I opened the door and let him inside.

"Hey."

"Hi."

"How's it going?"

"Good. And you."

"Hungry."

"I was expecting that. Popcorn on the coffee table."

"Sweet!" He ran over, grabbed the popcorn bowl and flopped onto the couch. I laughed. He could be such a little kid sometimes, "Yay! Movie theater butter!" He munched on the popcorn happily, "So, what did you wanna talk about?"

"Ummm…It's about Eli."

"Oh…" he looked down.

"Are you uncomfortable with talking about him while he isn't here?"

"No…it's just…he wanted me to talk to you."

"Why?"

"He says you're acting…different. He wants to know what's up." I'M acting different? Now I knew there was something really wrong here.

"Really?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"Yeah…he says you seem…distant. Like you don't want to be with him. It's scaring the hell outta him."

"Really?" I asked, concerned.

"Yeah. He's been trying to get you to hang out with him more because…he doesn't wanna lose you."

"Oh…that's kind of why I wanted to talk to you."

"Really? What's wrong, then? Tell Uncle Adam," He patted the couch cushion next to him, and I sat down.

"Okay…" I breathed, "The reason that I might be…distancing…myself from Eli is that…he's acting…weird."

"Alright…go on…"

"Remember when Fitz came back, and I talked to you about Eli being so protective?"

"Yeah."

"Well…that didn't stop when Fitz kept bothering us. It's actually gotten…worse."

"Worse?"

"Yeah…he keeps making…plans…for us. Like our future together and whatever. And he keeps asking me to DO things with him…"

"Wait…what do you mean by THINGS?"

"What are you talking a…" My eyes widened as I realized he meant, and I punched him in the arm, "NO! Not THAT kind of thing!"

"Ow! Relax! I was just checking!" he protested while rubbing his arm.

"It's just…like what you said. He wants me to hang out with him 24/7. I know it's because he doesn't wanna lose me, but he's making it hard for me to hang out with my other friends, like Alli, and even you. Well, you have Fiona to hang out with, but Alli has nobody."

"Ummm…actually…I've been meaning to tell you something."

"Tell me what?"

"Fiona and I…we broke up."

"What? Why? Did she start drinking again?"

"No…as it turns out, she was actually using me for my body." I was confused for a second.

"What? But you have a…OH!" I suddenly realized it, "So Fiona likes…girls?"

"Yeah…" he mumbled.

"I'm so sorry. You guys seemed so good together."

"Yeah. I thought so…but it's fine. Plenty of fish in the sea, right?"

"I guess…but still."

"Clare. It's fine. I'll find someone someday who will treat me how I want to be treated, and still accept my physical qualities. Fiona just wasn't her."

"Okay."

"So back to you and Eli…"

"Right. So…what was I saying?"

"Ummm…something about you not having enough time for your friends?"

"Right…so…I just feel like…he's trying to own me…and it's starting to scare me. Especially the way he talks to me. He tells me that he loves me all the time, and it's not that I don't like it. It's just that…he gets this strange look on his face when he says that. Like I am his everything."

"Clare. That's called being in love."

"I know…I can't explain it…but if you saw it, you would understand."

"I guess I'll take your word for it."

"And he keeps talking about being alone with me…like having us trapped in a room together…with no escape."

"That's…actually REALLY creepy."

"And it feels that way, too."

"So…what are you gonna do?"

"I don't know. Help me decide!"

"Well…it seems like Eli is making you uncomfortable…"

"Exactly."

"So maybe you should talk to him? And tell him that?"

"I tried that…he hasn't noticed anything strange with the way he's been acting."

"Maybe you two…need to spend some time apart?"

"You mean…break up?" My voice cracked.

"Maybe not BREAK UP…but I think you two need to…stop dating…for a while."

"So we need to break up?"

"No…I think you guys need…a little break."

"I think you're right…but I'm scared to tell him."

"I'd tell him for you, but I'm kind of scared, too. He's REALLY into you, and he might be REALLY upset."

"That's why I'M afraid!"

"Yeah, but what are you afraid of more? Eli being upset or you being trapped by him?"

"Right…I guess I'll have to tell him tomorrow."

"Okay. You sure that's the right decision?"

"…Yeah. I'm sure. And once he deals with whatever is making him act this way, we could give us a second chance."

"That sounds good."

"Wait…if Eli and I…take a break…we can keep hanging out, right?"

"Of course! You will ALWAYS be my best girl friend…thing. But for the first few days, I may have to stick with Eli and make sure that he doesn't get soft and start crying." I laughed, but then realized something.

"Wait…this WILL make him cry, won't it?"

"Probably…"

"But I don't wanna upset him! I know what it's like to be broken up with! It's not fun at all! I don't want him to feel the way I did!"

"Then make sure to tell him that you still care about him, but he needs to deal with some stuff. Besides, if you don't do this, YOU will feel afraid…and worried…and uncomfortable. And you don't wanna feel that way, do you?"

"No."

"So just…do what is best for you. Eli is strong. He can deal. And he wants you to be happy just as much as you do."

"Right…so I'm gonna do this."

"Okay."

"Thank you SO much for helping me, Adam. You are SUCH a great listener, and you give such great advice…for a guy. "

"Wow. Thanks. I'm touched." He said sarcastically. I laughed, "No, seriously, you're welcome." I pulled him into a tight hug. Once I let go, I looked into his eyes, and something came over me. I don't know if it was because I was so confused about Eli, or if I just needed comfort, or if it was because he was acting so sweetly. But I found myself leaning forward. And I thought I saw him lean forward. And a second later, our lips met. It lasted about four seconds, and then I suddenly realized what I was doing and pulled away, moving to the other side of the couch. My cheeks reddened and I was thoroughly embarrassed.

"I am SO sorry! I didn't mean for that to happen. If you're uncomfortable, you can go now," I apologized awkwardly.

"No. It's fine," he whispered, "You can come back. I don't bite." He held out his hand. I grabbed it reluctantly, and he pulled me back next to him, "See? It's fine."

"Okay," I said, letting out a huge breath that I didn't realize I was holding. Our eyes met once again, and I found my heart beating faster than normal.

"But Clare…" he began to speak.

"Y-yes?" I looked down, but he only touched my chin and tilted my head upward.

"Clare. Why did you kiss me?" And the same force that took over my body seconds earlier controlled me again.

"Because…you're being so nice…and funny…and wise…and you understand me in a way that most guys can't. And unlike Fiona, it doesn't matter to me what parts you have." And the hand he had on my chin gently guided my face closer to his, and we kissed again. This time, it was longer, and his lips had the faint smell of popcorn, which made me smile. I circled my arms around his neck. After about fifteen seconds, he pulled away, and we stared at each other, out of breath.

"Wow," I breathed.

"Ummm…" he said uncomfortably.

"Sorry?"

"Don't be…That was…nice."

"Yeah…I guess."

"But what about Eli?"

"We're on break."

"Yeah…but you still like him, right?"

"I think?"

"Then why are you kissing me?"

"I'm not sure…It seemed like a good idea."

"Is it because you like me?"

"…maybe?"

"Oh."

"Do you like me?"

"…maybe?" I laughed.

"So..what now?"

"Now…how about we watch some TV? I think the hockey game is about to start." I laughed again. He had such cute boyish charm. So while he watched, I just sat there, thinking. I didn't know why I kissed Adam. We had always been just friends, and I had always seen him as a brother. I think it was just an impulse, but either way, we did kiss. And Eli would find out about it someday. I just hoped that he didn't find out about it very soon. It would crush him. I had to make sure that Adam didn't tell him.

"Adam?"

"Yeah?" He looked at me, but then turned back to the game, where the players were close one of the ends of the rink and one guy in orange and black looked like he was about to shoot into our team's goal.

"NO!" Adam cried as the puck flew in, "Damn you, Flyers!" I laughed, and he turned back to me as a commercial started, "Sorry. Caught up in the game. Go ahead."

"Can we…not mention what just happened to Eli? He might not take it well along with the news that I'm giving him tomorrow."

"No prob…but he's bound to find out someday."

"I know. But I want someday to be a day where he's in a good place…emotionally."

"Alright."

"Does this…change anything…about us?" I asked.

"Yeah. We kissed, so now I think we're in love," he remarked sarcastically, "No, it doesn't change a thing, Clare. We're still just best buddies."

"Good. Thank you. I don't think I…like you…in that way."

"Yeah…me either…we were just…"

"Caught up in the moment?"

"Exactly."

"Alright…my parents should be home soon. Would you mind finishing the game with Drew at your house? He's probably a better hockey game buddy."

"Nah…he hogs all the barbecue chips." I laughed, "I can go now." He got up and walked to the door, and I followed him. He opened the door, and then turned around.

"Even if that kiss was just a one-time, freak thing, it was still…good. But it won't happen again, right?"

"Right."

"Good, because then that would be considered cheating, and I can't be the guy you're cheating on him with. I'm his best friend."

"Yeah."

"So…I'll see you tomorrow at school?"

"Yeah. See ya." And I watched as he walked down the street. As soon as I closed the door, waves of guilt washed over me. What had I done? I leaned against the door and sank to the floor, as tears welled up in my eyes.

**Author's Note: **I just couldn't find the right way to end that, so I just stopped there. That turned out differently than I had planned on originally, but I guess its okay. Hooray for awkward moments! Cladam…but not really. I tried to fit it in with what's going to happen in the next episode. I'm excited. Aren't you? Review if you want. You can yell at me for screwing up Eclare and Fadam, but the shows are already doing it, too, so whatever. And just in case it wasn't clear, Clare and Adam are still JUST FRIENDS in this story. Dare I make a sequel about Eli finding out? Nah…I think not.


	2. Visiting a Broken Friend

**Author's Note: **Okay, so I was reading the first part to this story again to check for grammatical errors (I didn't notice any, which made me happy), and I came up with this idea. It doesn't seem like anyone even liked this story, but I continue writing whatever I want, no matter what anyone says. But it does encourage me when people like things. Anyway, here is a continuation. But this will be it. By the way, this is from Adam's point of view.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Degrassi. If I did, Mrs. Torres would get her comeuppance (best word ever).

**Caught Up In The Moment (Part Two)**

I took a deep breath before entering Eli's room. As soon as Bullfrog called me about the accident this morning, I dragged my mom to the car and had her rush to the hospital. I was more anxious to get there than I was to get the Invaders III Expansion Pack and Game Guide combo. But when I saw him through the window in his room, time slowed down. He wasn't facing me, but I could see that there was a problem with his leg and that he had a neck brace. Normally, Eli seemed so confident and self-assured. But with his injuries, he just seemed…broken. And I wasn't sure if I was ready to see my best friend like this. But I needed to talk to him. Because what kind of friend would I be otherwise?

Once Eli heard the door open, he instinctively turned his head to see who was there, which caused him to wince in pain. But his expression soon turned into a smile.

"Hey, Adam! What's new?" I was glad that he was happy, but the fact that he was so cheerful after being in a car accident was a little unsettling.

"Nothing much. But I see that there's plenty new with you."

"Yeah. Do you like the new look?"

"Yeah. That hospital gown is very flattering. And it really brings out your eyes." He laughed.

"And I feel so free. This is the first time I've been allowed to be in public with my backside bare."

I smiled, but then I became serious, "Dude, what happened?"

"Car accident." He replied simply.

"Yeah, but why?"

"I…dozed off at the wheel."

"Really?"

"It was late at night!" he protested.

"This coming from the guy who stayed up all night playing on his Xbox, beat a game he had just bought the day before, and went to school the next day without a cup of coffee and still aced his exams,"

"Sometimes I've got it, sometimes I don't."

"Are you sure?"

"Why? Did Clare talk to you?"

"Aha!"

"What?"

"Why did you mention Clare?"

"I didn't mention her!"

"Eli…"

"Maybe you thought of her. Do you have a secret crush on her? Are you trying to steal her from me?"Although I knew he was joking, I flinched at those words, remembering what Clare and I had done a few days ago. I promised Clare that I wouldn't tell but I knew that he would find out sometime. He deserved to know. And the longer I kept it a secret, the longer I was breaking the bro code. And I figured, since he was in the hospital, he wouldn't be able to beat me up. And by the time he got out, he probably would have had time to think it through and hopefully wouldn't kill me. But before I could say anything, Eli continued.

"Yeah, man. You shouldn't believe me. I wouldn't believe me, either"

"Good. I knew you weren't gullible. So why are you lying? What really happened?"

"I'm lying because I didn't want to drag you into all this relationship shit."

"Actually…you already did. You told me to talk to Clare a few days ago and I did."

"Oh. What did you say?"

"What you told me to say."

"And what did she say?"

"That she thought you were acting different..."

"And?"

"That you've been very protective…"

"Go on."

"And that it made her a little uneasy."

"Did she say anything about breaking up with me?"

"She said something about…taking a break."

"And you said?" I sighed, knowing that if I told him the truth, he would feel like I betrayed him. But I'm an honest guy.

"That if she was uncomfortable, she should do something about it."

"So you told her to break up with me?" his voice raised a little.

"No! I just…helped her with her decision. Just to take a break."

"And you let her decide that? Without telling me?"

"Eli, she's not just my best friend's girlfriend! She's also my friend! And if she wasn't feeling right being with any other guy, I would tell her to dump him. But I know you and I know that you can change. But either way, she still needed space. I wasn't gonna get in the way of that. And I didn't tell you because she was just gonna tell you the next day. And I also had a feeling that you would contemplate shooting the messenger." Eli had turned over in his bed and was lying down with his back facing me, without replying. He shuddered a little, and let out a shaky breath.

"Dude...are you okay?" I asked, worried. He slowly turned toward me, and I saw tears rolling down his cheeks. I gasped softly and watched as my best friend transformed into a broken-hearted shell of his former self.

"Nothing is working out, Adam," he said in a broken voice, "I'm all busted up. Morty is dead. I crashed him on purpose. For a girl who broke up with me anyway. And my best friend convinced her to rip my heart out. Because I'm a clingy, manipulative, heartless monster!" I stared at him in shock. Suddenly, he clenched his fists and gritted his teeth, "Get out." He warned.

"I'm so sorry Eli. I had no idea what was happening."

"Get out!" he screamed, "I don't wanna talk to you! Get out of my room. Get out of this hospital. Get out of my life!" I backed away, terrified of a guy who probably couldn't even stand. I passed through the doorway without saying goodbye.

I called my mom to pick me up. While I was waiting, I began to think. Why did Eli think he crashed Morty for Clare? And why did Eli freak out? Was it the stress of everything that happened, or was it something more? I had never seen him like that before. I concluded that I had to talk to Clare. And that there was a whole other side to Eli Goldsworthy that I probably wouldn't be able to begin to comprehend.

**Authors Note: **Wow. Hooray for a terrible follow-up! While I was writing this, I came up with a way to take this story further. So this story is not over (which explains the non-end-ish ending), whether you like it or not. But I do hope you like it, because I don't want to be a waste of your time. Next chapter will be up over Memorial Day weekend. So…if you want to tell me how I can be less suckish, feel free to use the blue button conveniently placed below. :D


	3. Phone Calls Reveal All

**Author's Note:** I would have updated sooner, but I had trouble trying to figure out how to set this part up. But I figured it out. So here is the third part. Now in Eli's point of view. Enjoy…or not! :D

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Degrassi. And I don't have enough money to buy ownership for it**. **So it's not mine.

**Caught Up In the Moment (Part Three)**

I felt like I was gonna die. Not from my injuries. Not from my broken heart. But from boredom. Lying in a hospital all day without being able to move was not exactly the most exciting thing in the world. You would think that being in a hospital, there would be all sorts of things going on. Doctors running around checking on patients, gunshot victims being carried in on stretchers, and families anxiously awaiting reports on the conditions of their loved ones. But no. I was in the wing of the hospital where the low-risk overflow patients were located. The most interesting thing that happened here was when a nurse slipped on a piece of paper in front of my door. But other than that, I was stuck staring at four white walls and a vase of flowers that Cece had brought. They were gardenias. Clare's favorite. And they were dying. Along with our relationship. They were painful to look at. But of course, I smiled at my mother and thanked her when she gave them.

"Mr. Goldsworthy." One of the nurses interrupted my thoughts.

"Yes?"

"The phone is for you."

"Who is it?" The nurse spoke into the receiver, "She says her name is Clare. Do you know a Clare?"

"Yes."

"Do you want to talk to her?" I pondered this for a minute. I was honestly unsure. This call would either cause me even more depression or lift my spirits. I decided to take my chances, "Yes." I replied, reaching for the phone, which the nurse handed to me, "Hello?"

"Eli. How are you doing?" she sounded like she was worried, which pissed me off for no apparent reason.

"Why do you care?"

"Because you're my boyfr…" she paused to catch herself, "My friend."

"Are you sure, Clare?" I bit back, the dull pain inside me beginning to intensify, "Because my real friend wouldn't come to the hospital just to dump me. Or tell me that he betrayed me."

"How did I betray you?"

"Actually, I was talking about Adam."

"He betrayed you?"

"Yeah…but what does it matter to you?"

"Like I said before, I still consider you my friend. Now what did Adam do?"

"Well, you would know, considering you were there." I spat. I heard silence on the other end of the line, "Are you there?"

"Adam told you?" she asked shakily.

"Yeah. Some friend he was." I muttered. I still had trouble accepting that he was trying to break Clare and I up.

"Oh, Eli. I'm so sorry you had to find out this way. I was going to tell you first, but the time hasn't been right." She explained.

"Yeah. What book did you get that line from? I'm pretty sure I've read it a dozen times." I replied harshly.

"Eli. The kiss was an accident! A mistake. And it's never going to happen again!"

"The what?" I asked, hoping that my ears weren't working right.

"Adam told you about when he and I kissed." She whispered, as if she was hoping that I would be less mad if she said it quietly.

"You guys kissed? When?"

"A few days ago."

"Where?"

"My house."

"…Why?"

"I don't know! It was an impulse!"

"And since when are you impulsive?" I scoffed.

"I don't know! But I do know that I'm so sorry! Will you ever forgive me?" she pleaded.

I paused for a moment and stared at the phone, which I had gripped so firmly that a small crack was beginning to form in the plastic. Then I replied, "…Maybe." And hung up. I looked at the phone again, and suddenly, all I wanted was for it to disappear. I drew my arm back and threw it against the wall with all my strength. It shattered into dozens of pieces upon impact. I looked at the flowers. I wanted them gone, too. But I couldn't reach them. I wanted to hit something else. Run away. Scream. Even though none of those actions would have helped me. I just couldn't believe it. My former best friend and my ex-girlfriend…kissing. And suddenly, it all made sense. Why Adam told Clare to break up with me. It was because he loved her. He wanted her, so he got me out of the way and then kissed her. I balled my hands into fists. I thought I could trust Adam. Clare, too. But now, I couldn't trust anyone…

**Author's Note: **Wow…that was one of the darkest things I've ever written. Now I'm gonna have to write a happy story soon. This story is not over yet. Maybe one or two more chapters. Misunderstandings ruin everything, don't they? Oh well. They make stories interesting. So thanks for reading this unusually short chapter. :D


	4. Soulless

**Author's Note:** Yay! Guess what? I have new neighbors! Well…sorta. The man who lives next door to me let his girlfriend and her two boys move in with him and one of them is my age. Haven't talked to him yet…I'm too scared. He goes to my school, but we haven't met. My big sister's friend says he's cute, but my sister herself disagrees. Why am I telling you this? I honestly don't know. Anyway, here is the next chapter. Back to Clare's point of view! :D

**Caught Up In the Moment (Part Four)**

As soon as I hung up the phone, I picked it up again and dialed Adam's number.

"Hey, Clare. What's up?" he greeted.

"I need to talk to you. It's important. Can you come over if you're not busy?" I asked.

"Sure. I kind of wanted to talk to you, too."

"Then this works for both of us."

"I'll be there in ten."

"Thanks, Adam. You're the best."

"Obviously." He agreed smugly.

"Sure you are. See you then."

"Bye!" We both hung up the phone and I leaned on my desk in my room. Questions about Eli and Adam swarmed my head in a frenzy. Was it wrong to tell Eli about the kiss so soon? I hadn't done it on purpose and I should have been more careful talking to him, but was it better now than later? Did Adam know about the car crash? The break-up? That Eli was mad at him? Would Adam be mad when he found out that I told Eli? And most importantly, what will happen to us next? Who will still be friends if not all of us? Eli said that he might forgive me, but that will be a long time from now. And what about him and Adam? Will they make up? I hope they will. I just couldn't stand it if I was the one who ended their friendship for good. The sound of the doorbell jolted me from my thoughts. I ran downstairs and opened the door. Adam walked in, and all of the sudden, I became very nervous. I didn't want to tell him that I told Eli, but it had to be done. I gestured for him to sit on the couch and I sat next to him.

"So what was so important that I had to come over?"

"Eli."

"You, too?"

"What do you mean? Did you need to talk to me about him as well?"

"Yeah. And it's kinda serious and I wanna get it off my chest, so can I speak first?" I nodded, "Okay, so Bullfrog called me and told me about the accident this morning. So I rushed to see Eli and he told me why he crashed Morty. And then I sorta told him about that conversation we had a few days ago…"

"So you told him about the kiss, too?"

"No…I just told him that I helped you make your decision about taking a break and he flipped out…but what do you mean by 'too'?"

"Nothing…" I really have to learn how to keep my mouth shut.

"Clare…" He dragged out my name and raised his eyebrows expectantly.

"Fine…I called Eli this afternoon to check up on him and we got into a fight and…I may have let it slip that…we kissed." I tapped my fingers on the coffee table nervously, waiting for his response.

"Oh god." He got up and started pacing, "Oh god. We're in trouble. He's gonna kill us both. Why would you tell him that without me?"

"Because he said that you betrayed him, and I thought that it meant that you had already told him. In fact, I was pretty mad at you for a few seconds when I thought that."

"I'm not mad. He was gonna find out someday anyway. If anything, I'm disappointed in myself for not telling him before his life was ruined."

"Ruined? What do you mean?" I asked, genuinely concerned.

"He told me that nothing was working out for him with the break-up, the car crash, and my betrayal. He almost sounded suicidal." My eyes widened.

"Oh no. Really? You don't think he would…" I trailed off.

"No. Never. Well…it depends. How mad was he?" He cringed a little, anticipating my answer.

"Actually…not as mad as I thought he would be."

"Really?"

"Yeah. He even said that he might forgive me."

"Oh. Then he won't do that. At least, I doubt it. And he'll definitely forgive me."

"How can you be so sure?" I asked curiously.

"Because he knows that girlfriends come and go, but best friends last for a long time."

"Thanks for making me feel better, Adam!" I replied sarcastically.

"But don't worry, Clare. He'll totally forgive you, too. He loved you. I bet he still does. He thinks you're perfect, so this is one little mistake compared to his seven billion."

"I'm sure he hasn't made that many mistakes."

"I know, but it seems that way to him." I looked down for a second, thinking.

"We really hurt him, didn't we?"

"I think we did."

"I broke up with him, ripping his heart out, and then kissed his best friend." I was suddenly beginning to realize the magnitude of my actions.

"Actually, I think that's the wrong order."

"But either way, we still hurt him." Tears began to form in my eyes.

"Clare, it's okay. It was one mistake. One kiss. He'll get over it. Look at everything else he's gotten over in his life. He'll forgive you." But I wasn't listening to him.

"I don't want Eli's forgiveness. I don't deserve it because I'm a terrible person. What I want most is for him to be happy again. I want him to get over me instead. I can't stand to have him this sad. It breaks my heart." Teardrops were now running down my cheeks.

"See, Clare? Only a good person would be that selfless.

"No. A good person wouldn't do what I did."

"Good people make mistakes. Accidents happen to them."

"It wasn't an accident, Adam. I did it on purpose. I don't deserve to be called a good person. I'm a soulless monster!" I was now sobbing uncontrollably.

"Fine. Say what you will. But no matter what, I, Eli, and everyone else on the planet will still consider you a saint."

"Well, everyone else is wrong." I looked up at his solemn countenance, "I think I need to be alone. I need to think about all of this. Could you please leave?" He began to walk towards the door, talking over his shoulder.

"Sure. It won't be the first time today that I've been kicked out of a place." I knit my eyebrows together in confusion, "Eli sorta…told me to get out of his life."

"He'll forgive you. You deserve it. You're a good person."

"And you are, too." And before I could tell him for the tenth time that he was wrong, he disappeared out the door. And I was alone, just like I wanted to be. Alone with my nonexistent soul. And I never felt emptier.

**Author's Note: **Gah! Another serious chapter! Well, this is probably the most serious story I've ever written. And the only one with changing points of view. I hope this story doesn't depress you. It's not all sunshine and rainbows. But if you are feeling sad now, think of those things. And "Drink some whiskey! It'll make you feel better." You know who says that? If you do, I will love you forever. But seriously, don't drink. Even if someone starts drinking in this story *possiblehinthint* Anyway, review if you don't want this story to end in Eli committing suicide (I seriously thought about that in the middle of writing this chapter). :D Wait…how can I put a smiley face after talking about death? Oh well! And also, do you know what "on tenterhooks" means? It's a synonym for expectantly (I looked for one because I use that word too often). You learn something new every day. But has anyone else ever heard that expression? Tenterhooks is one of my new favorite words. :D There. Now I can end with a smiley face.


	5. A Battered Bedroom

**Author's Note: **Wow. It's been almost two weeks since I've updated this. Sorry! Been busy. Why? Because finals suck. And I've only had one. So yeah. I'm gonna be studying a lot this weekend. So I probably won't be updating a lot of my stories. That is, if you read any of my other stories. Oh my gosh guess what? My sister bought a Perry the Platypus alarm clock. It's the most amazing clock I've ever seen. That show is so adorable. Anyway…what is it now? Fifth chapter? Yeah. I was right. This will have at least two more chapters. No, Eli will not commit suicide. That was never a serious idea. It was a joke. Sorry if a few of you wanted him to die. I crushed your dreams. I seem to be doing a lot of that lately. Oh. And have you seen the new promo? Holy…wow that's some serious drama! If people weren't excited about season eleven before, they should be now. Oh. And one more thing. Someone who reviewed told me that I should tell whose point of view these chapters are from, but I already do that in the Author's Notes. Guess I have to make it more obvious…

_**THIS IS FROM ADAM'S POINT OF VIEW!**_

Is that clear enough? Good. On with the story.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Degrassi. But as soon as I get rich, I'll be sure to buy it. :D

**Caught Up In the Moment (Part Five)**

My hand was shaking with apprehension as I knocked on the bedroom door. I hadn't seen Eli since that last time in the hospital. It's only been a few days, but it feels like it's been years. Eli hasn't been to school because it's pretty hard to move from class to class with a broken neck and leg, so Miss Dawes made it my job to bring him the work that he's missed. Because she doesn't realize that I am one mistake away from being ripped to shreds by a furious Eli. Which was why I was scared to see him.

"Come in!" Eli called from inside the room. I opened the door slowly, anxious about what I was about to see. And I was right to be nervous.

"Oh. It's you." His eyes narrowed, "What do you want?" But before I responded, I looked around the room in awe. Clare had gushed about how well Eli's room was coming more than a few times. But this looked about ten times worse than the last time I saw it. Dirty shirts, jackets, pants, socks, and pairs of underwear were strewn across the floor. Plates with half-eaten meals sitting on top of them were stacked in a heap on what I was guessing was his dresser. Posters were ripped from the wall and piled in the corner of the room. There was a large crack in his window pane, and his curtains were torn into uneven strips. But most disturbingly, a box labeled, "Julia" was tipped over in the middle of the room, its contents spilled out in a trail leading to Eli himself, who was holding a pillow shaped like a J. Somehow, all of his problems seemed to stem from her. The only thing messier than Eli's room was Eli himself, who had a crazed look in his eye and smelled like he hadn't showered in a week. His clothing was wrinkled and had multiple stains and his hair was sticking up in all directions. But I couldn't dwell on this now. I had to give Eli his work and get out as soon as possible.

"Great to see you, too, Eli." I greeted sarcastically, "I'm here to give you the assignments you missed."

"Are you sure you weren't here to tell me that you hooked up with my girlfriend? Oh wait. I already know about that, no thanks to you. Unless you did it again like the little fucker you are." I tried to be calm around him, knowing that he was hungering for a reaction. I know how much Eli enjoys winning a good argument. But it was hard to keep it cool.

"I hate to break it to you, but we didn't hook up. It was just one kiss." I informed him.

"You don't deserve her lips. They belong to me." He argued.

"God, Eli. Will you listen to yourself? You don't own Clare's lips, or any part of her body, for that matter. She does. And she wanted to use them to kiss me."

"She kissed you?" he asked in disbelief, "Why would she wanna kiss you?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I think you know." He assured me, hinting that he had something up his sleeve.

"No, I don't. Why don't you explain it to me?"

"Because you're a girl." He said it slowly, as if he was savoring each word. A smirk played on his lips, knowing that he had me right where he wanted me. I shot him a look of pure hatred.

"I'm not a girl!" I shouted, angrily chucking the papers at him.

"And you throw like one, too." He crossed his arms and watched me with an evil smile.

"Just...go to hell, Eli." I told him, and then turned around and walked out of the room.

"I'll meet you there!" Eli yelled after me. I balled my fists in anger. I couldn't believe him. Playing the transgender card was so not cool. I wanted to run back into the room and punch that smirk right off his stupid face, but instead, I stomped down the stairs. Eli's mother came down the hall.

"Oh, hi Adam! It's great to see you again!" she greeted cheerfully, but her expression changed to concern as soon as she saw my irritation. I didn't answer her at first, but before I walked out the door, I turned to her and spoke.

"Mrs. Goldsworthy…could you do me a favor and give your son a message for me?"

"Sure?" she replied confusedly. And with that, I stuck up my middle finger and slammed the door behind me.

**Author's Note: **I honestly didn't expect that chapter to go like that. Yeah. I used two curse words. Why? Because I'm a rebel. I should go to jail for this. Haha. Actually, I've only said a curse word on purpose once. It felt awkward. I never wanna do it again. So anyway, review if you wish to. :D


	6. An Easy Escape

**Author's Note: **Okay, so I think this story will have nine chapters. I know what will happen. It's all in my head, I just haven't typed it. Well, I'm typing this part now. Fingers crossed you don't hate it! :D By the way…

_**THIS IS FROM ELI'S POINT OF VIEW!**_

If you haven't noticed yet, there is a pattern to the perspectives in this story.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Degrassi. But if I did, the children would once again sit on exercise balls. "Dave, no bouncing!" :D

**Caught Up In the Moment (Part Six)**

As soon as Cece left my room to inform me of the message Adam had for me, I dug my nails into my palms and watched as they slowly sank deep enough into my skin to make bright red moon-shaped cuts. It stung, but it felt a lot better than my broken bones and released some of my rage, so I did it again. I bit on my already dry, cracked, lips until I could taste my own blood. Then I realized what I was doing and stopped, slamming my hands down flat on my bed.

Was I going insane? Probably. I just insulted my best friend in the worst way possible. I mean, I was really angry at him for all the things he did, but I didn't expect myself to say something like that. He was still my only friend here. And I pretty much just told him to go be a girl somewhere else. And let's not forget about when I told him that I'd see him in hell. I don't know about him, but I'm pretty sure I'm going there after everything I've done. Well…if there actually was a hell.

And now I am on the verge of becoming a cutter. Happy day. I know I'll never actually cut. Bullfrog has warned me plenty of times, "If you even think about using that razor for anything other than shaving, I will personally take that big butcher's knife in our kitchen and…" Cece never let him finish that sentence, but I think he knows that I got the point. Let's just say I never contemplated self-harm after that speech. Not even during the hardest times of my life.

But…there was something else that I have used before. Bullfrog let me try it when I was twelve or so, but it burned my throat and I spit it out immediately, vowing to never drink it ever again. But once I was older and met a guy who could supply me with a fake ID, I acquired a tolerance for it and drank it on occasion. But when Julia died, I found that I started using it to dull the pain. After a while, I drank less and less until I finally started dating Clare. She didn't approve of alcohol usage. And she made me happy enough that I didn't really need it anyway.

But it was different now. Clare and I were over, and I found myself clumsily attempting to stand up on my own. I tried to ignore the aching in my leg every time I put weight on it as I hobbled over to my cabinet. The lamp in my room was dim, so when I opened the door and began my search, I had to use my sense of touch rather than sight. But it didn't take long for my hands to encounter the smooth, cool glass.

I forgot what exactly I put into this bottle when I hid it. Whiskey, gin, vodka, rum, brandy, tequila…But it didn't matter. What mattered was that this would help me make it through. And with that, I stumbled back into my bed. I knew this wasn't the most mature or the strongest way to handle my problems. But it worked. So I slowly raised the opening of the bottle to my mouth and began to drink.

The liquid burned like acid as it traveled down my throat, but by the fourth swallow, I was numbed enough not to care. The next few hours went by in a blur, but I knew that little time had passed before the bottle was empty and that soon after I was lying on the floor, phone in hand, drifting slowly in and out of consciousness. And the last thing I heard before I passed out was the sound of frantic footsteps charging up the stairs.

**Author's Note: **I never drank or cut before, so I don't know how I should have described all of that. But hopefully I didn't completely butcher it. Anyway, review if you think Eli has boarded the crazy train! :D


	7. A Deadly Drink

**Author's Note: **Well I sure am a piece of crap writer. Waiting this long to update, letting down the three or so of you that read this story and actually like it. My sincerest apologies. I know this story no longer follows what's happening in the show, but oh well. Now it's how I think things could have went. By the way, this chapter happens around the same time and day as the last one. But enough of my crappy author's note. On with the story:

_**THIS CHAPTER IS FROM CLARE'S POINT OF VIEW!**_

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Degrassi. Never have, never will.

**Caught Up in the Moment (Part Seven)**

It was around eight on the first Wednesday night after spring break, and Miss Dawes decided that it would be a wonderful idea to assign us an enormously important project to help us return to school mode. But as I was on my third hour working on it that night, I began to question whether her idea was positive in any way. And it didn't help that my English partner was MIA for the past three days, still having trouble moving around on his injured leg and thinking with his possible insanity.

I hadn't talked to him since I called him the day after the accident, afraid of how he would react to seeing me or even hearing my voice knowing that I had kissed his best friend. I still felt guilty as ever about that, especially since it caused his already fragile heart to break even more. I felt as though his current mental state was completely fault. I had a feeling it had something to do with Julia as well, spring break having been the anniversary of her death, but I'm sure that I was a catalyst as well.

Now that I've had time to think about this whole situation, I realized that Eli was never trying to hurt me. He only loved me. Loved me so much that letting me go would be the death of him. Or at least, the death of Morty. Loved me so much that he just about went insane because of it. I wasn't angry at him for manipulating me because he didn't realize that he was doing it. He was blinded by his emotions.

But even though I knew all of that to be true, I knew that it would be just about the worst thing in the world to get back together with him. He wasn't stable. He needed help. A counselor. Therapist. Psychologist. Someone who could control his mental issues. Because so far, I haven't been doing very well at that job.

I was almost finished the essay that accompanied the project when I got a phone call.

_Ring!_

I checked the Caller ID. Elijah Goldsworthy. I wasn't ready to talk to him. What would he say to me? Would he scream at me for being so insensitive to him? Would he pour his heart out to me? Would he cuss me out?

_Ring! _

Was he in danger? Could he be asking for help? Has he fallen and cannot get up? Is he standing on the edge of the top of a building? All of the worst possibilities swarmed through my head.

_Ring! _

Decision time. Should I answer or not?

_Ring! _

I picked up the phone.

"Hello?" I greeted uncertainly.

"Clare…It's you! Hi, Clare!" He seemed awfully cheerful.

"Umm…hi Eli,"

"It's great…to hear your voice. I'm glad I could…reach you," His voice was unsettlingly giddy. But he spoke more slowly than he usually did, taking strange pauses.

"So why did you call me?" I asked.

"I just wanted to tell you," he paused, "that I love you…so much!" he professed animatedly. I wasn't sure how to respond to that.

"That's…great…Eli. Is that all?"

"No!" he shouted.

"Then what?" I was getting slightly annoyed.

"Will you…take me back? I promise…I'll be good this time. I won't…write any stories or…crash any cars. I'll even give you…a foot rub!" he slurred. Something was seriously wrong with him.

"Eli…what's wrong?" I interrogated, concerned.

"Nothing!" he declared, but then chuckled quietly to himself.

"Have you been…drinking?" I questioned incredulously.

"No no no no no!" he protested. Then I heard the sound of liquid sloshing around in a bottle and a loud swallow.

"Eli…" I sighed.

"Okay. I may have had a little…" he trailed off.

"A little what?"

"A little of…whatever's in this bottle!" he burst out laughing while my eyes widened in shock.

"Eli! Do you have any idea how dangerous that is?"

"What are you…my mother?" he joked.

"Eli, how much did you drink?" I asked seriously.

"I…can't tell,"

"What do you mean, you can't tell?" I was starting to get very angry with him.

"Everything's…fuzzy,"

"Fuzzy?" I choked out.

"And I feel…woozy,"

"Woozy?" I whispered.

"The room's spinning,"  
>"Okay, Eli. You need to stop drinking right now and lie down," I commanded.<p>

"No! I…I need it,"

"For what?"

"The pain!"

"For your leg? Just take the medication the doctor gave you!"

"No! The pain of losing you!"

"…Huh?" I froze, not realizing that I had stood up and started pacing around during this conversation.

"You…Adam…Julia…my mind…Just let me do it. You've caused me…enough trouble!" he muttered. My guilt brought tears to my eyes. I couldn't believe what I had done to him.

"Do your parents know that you're doing this?" I questioned, trying to mask my sadness.

"No,"

"Then I'm calling them!"

"No! I…I…whoa…Clare, I feel…I…" There was silence for a few seconds, and then I heard a loud thud.

"Eli?" I asked tentatively. I clutched the phone in terror, waiting for some sort of response. But all I could hear was a few gasping breaths and a soft moan before dead silence. I stood there in a daze before quickly dialing 911 through tear-filled eyes.

**Author's Note: **Wow…that sucked. I'm so sorry. :-(


End file.
